Sadly, it has been a year since I last posted here. First of all, I have to apologize. Procrastinating is an Olympic sport in my family and I am handily the gold medal winner. I got distracted by life, and my son’s first year in middle school, and kept putting off my final TV throwdown post until it was Christmas break and I had the house all to myself. At which point I considered finally catching up but then I decided that I had left this all sit so long that no one would probably be interested anymore.
It is ironic that I got a degree in journalism, in order to prepare myself to become a professional writer (or editor as I saw just how much I disliked reporting), and then let my lack of success in my job hunt completely kill my confidence in my writing ability. Apparently, I have a rare form of writer’s block that is inspired by my inability to earn cash – most likely, a hang-up developed under the watchful eye of my mother who seems to think that money makes the world go around, under God’s watchful eye of course.
My job search is still in progress, but as it draws out, each rejection and fruitless application slices a little more of my certainty away. In the last few months I have almost completely halted my search, at least within my own field. I have started re-examining what I want to do, and I find the idea of returning to school to be so appealing as to be nearly irresistible. I’m good at school, I excel in that environment and people appreciate the hard work that goes into academic efforts much more than this futile job hunt.
But school can’t be an end in and of itself, so what field do I choose for the next degree? I am keenly interested in getting a position like that of my best friend, who is history professor for an online university. Of course, it wouldn’t be history for me, but English, but my girlfriend has cautioned me against it. I get it, people who get master’s degress in English generally want to become professors, so that means I’d be putting myself into an even more competitive field. My other notion, finally going to law school, is simply a ridiculous pipe dream that is currently being tickled by the number of my Facebook friends who are going to law school right now. It’s too expensive, means another three years in school and would qualify me to get a job working more hours than I would ever consider working.
So that leaves me where exactly? Sitting in my parents’ basement, watching my student loans getting ready to come back out of “unemployment” deferrment and working 15 hours a week for $8 an hour. It’s impossible for me to accept that this is what I’m supposed to be doing with my life, but in the meantime, I’m losing my focus on everything. Including this blog post – alas, my meandering has taken me far away from where I intended to go, but since I promised myself that I would post something tonight, I’ll just wrap up shortly and try again soon.
So let me end here, with another heartfelt apology to anyone who had been following my posts before my brain dried up. I’m going to keep at this writing thing until I either get it right or I win the lottery – and we all know how lucky I am 
*** Danielle
